I was told once by a guy I was seeing that I was insecure.
To be quite honest, I never saw myself as insecure. Shy, sure, a little reserve
and cautious, yup. But not insecure about who I am. I am an independent woman.
I live alone, pay my own rent and bills, make my own decisions in life. I have
a career and profession not a job. I have many goals in my life that I hope to
achieve. I’m self motivated. I think outside the box; not letting what I do
define who I am and what I will be. Creative, curious, and always wanting to
learn more about the world and the people in it. I’m a god fearing, spiritual
woman with a good heart. I AM what every man wants to marry. I am a good woman
and I believe that any man that decides to make me his is not lucky, but truly
blessed. In other words, I got it going on. So I never thought of myself as
insecure about who I was.
Then I started to think. If anything, what I am insecure
about is a man’s ability to see all that I am and all that I have to offer. Most
men that I meet are mostly intrigued by my looks. “Your beautiful” “your sexy”
okay great thanks for that compliment, I guess. Its not that I’m full of
myself, I’m just a believer that a persons beauty lies beneath the surface. I
would the same bold gentleman why he liked me? What about ME made him attracted
to me? His response: “well your beautiful, and your intelligent” that was it.
And then he felt the need to mention again that I was beautiful. Now that
sounds great…until you hear my response as to why I like HIM: “your funny, your
outgoing, you like to have a good time. You like to learn new things and are
always looking for a challenge. We think alike; we don’t like to be confined to
doing one thing and being defined by it. You like to travel. You like to cook
and I like to eat. We make a great team together. Your weird like me.”
I see beyond the surface. Yea he’s okay looking (even though
he thinks he looks amazing). But I’m not interested that much in your physical
appearance. Yes take care of yourself, but what’s most important to me is how
well you and I get along. At this point
in my life, a great connection isn’t based how hot you are (that’s extremely
high school), but on how compatible you are with me. Oh yea, I forgot, he likes
to read, and we can have intelligent conversation!!! That is such a turn on for
me. But back to the subject, he never said or did anything like that that would
make me feel confident that he saw the REAL ME. Not my ass. Not my “cute” face.
(And for the record, no I do not have a facebook photo with my ass out.
Definitely agree with those who say the message is look at my ass not at me.) That’s
the most important thing. I’ve been thrown the “I’m not ready for a commitment”
card many times and so I’m very weary of why you want my attention. Am I a
fling, or someone you can see yourself in a serious committed relationship.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, fella’s you gotta let a
woman know that you see her. The real her. When you do that, you create
confidence not in her, but in your relationship and your bond together.
