Find Heaven in Yourself and God

So, to keep it simple, I recently got my heart crushed and have been trying figure out how to pick up the pieces and keep it moving. The first and easiest thing I could think of was exercise! Yes it creates great endorphins to make me cheery, but also I need to get fit for the summer time ; . As I’m running on the treadmill, Common’s Geto Heaven Part II comes on. For some reason, every time I go to the gym one of common’s songs always seems to speak to me. Anyway, there’s a part where he says “want a certain type of guy, gotta reach a certain point too.”  I don’t know why but I started to think about the fact that right now, I’m not in a good place; I’m not who I want to be right now and I realized that there are a few of things I want to work on about me. Like I need to learn to be stronger and not such a “yes” woman all the time. I need to focus not only on my goals and where I want to be, but also on my person. What makes me happy? What are some flaws I have? What are the things I’ve always wanted to do? What do I need to do in order to be where I want in the future? By focusing on answering these questions (and doing them) this, Ill find “Heaven in myself and God”… Ill find happiness and peace of mind.

To conclude my small rant… who needs men? They cause so much unnecessary drama!! lol. Well I hope this may inspire some of you.

Don't Bite the Hand that Feeds You

I have been thinking a lot about the professional field that I am currently working in and how my feelings towards it have changed. I am a teacher in the NYC school system. I teach in one of the toughest districts in Brooklyn, and on top of that, its an all boys high school. So when I say its tough, I mean it!

Like any business, its success depends on how well it is managed and how good your workers are. How do you get good workers? How do you know if these workers are good? That seems to be the question that pops up everywhere in society, and everyone has their own standards they like to put teachers on. Bottom line, if your students are engaged and learning, that means your doing something good.

I don't believe standardized tests are a good indicator of whether you are doing your job or not, especially since there are many factors that effect the testing results. You have issues of biased information- Global Studies is heavily European and does not relate at all to my students. Most of them are of Caribean and African descent so I can teach them about their cultures and history from the perspective of their cultures, yet it will not appear on most standardized tests. You also have issues with students who are intelligent but are not great test takers (that's where I fall). I'm not even going to touch upon the students who fail because they don't receive the proper educational services they deserve, or the students who lack motivation because no one at home sees the value of education. But that's a different discussion.

Everyone seems to be focused on weeding out "bad" teachers, but no one is focusing on how to KEEP them. If you look at NYC's retention rate, 30 % of new teachers say they will most likely not return after 3 years of teaching. Unfortunately, I am part of that number and here is one reason why.

Salary:
One day, as I sat in my room after paying off all my bills and looked at what I had left for groceries and leisure, this depressing feeling came over me. I've worked so hard all these years, managed to get a masters degree while teaching as well, and what do I have to show for it?? Almost nothing!!!!! I started to think about my coworkers who are able to afford going out for drinks and buying new clothes every month or so and I realized, all of them live with their partners or a roommate! I live by myself and my rent alone is a little more than 1200/mo (which isn't too bad for living in Brooklyn) which is pretty much an entire paycheck. I thought to myself: "Why am I living paycheck to paycheck when I have a college and a graduate degree, and I have a professional career, not just some job I do to make ends meet.

I looked up an article in the Huffington Post that read,

In New York, the minimum wage is $7.25, far below the $11.86 an hour it takes to actually live in the city, according to the Living Wage Project. And it takes six figures to effectively belong in the city's middle class. A 2009 study from the Center for an Urban Future found that someone making $60,000 and living in Manhattan is equivalent to someone making $26,092, according to the New York Daily News.

So I'm not the only one struggling to live in this great city, but why are TEACHERS living like this?! If education is the backbone of any nation, if it is what we need in order to become top, leading nations in the world, why the hell are we not acting like we value it?! Here's a chart I found in the NYC.gov archive (*copy of doc can be found at the bottom of this post)

City or County in NY	Median Salary
Scarsdale	$90,0001
Bronxville	$86,0002
Chappaqua	$75,1903
Westchester	$68,4004
White Plains	$68,0005
Yonkers	$67,2916
Nassau	$66,2627
New York City	$47,3458

New York City has one of the toughest populations, and the worst (overall) scores and education problems, so why are we getting paid the least? We work in schools that have little to no resources, and with students who, most of the time, can't afford notebooks or folders or pens. We come out of pocket from our salaries (which are, quite frankly, a JOKE!) to make up for the lack in our schools. We are dedicated, and we care, but at a certain point we get burned out (or burnt out??). I love my students, but  I can't continue to live in conditions like this. I can't continue to work for a boss that doesn't value my effort and commitment to my students, and that doesn't support me in my growth as a teacher. If your workers aren't happy, your business won't be "happy" (successful). NYC education systems need a change and need it quick!

Teacher Attrition and Retention - Please look through this. It really touches on everything most teachers  are feeling about their jobs in NYC. We really do love what we do and who we serve, but we can't do it running on empty. 

Commentary on Freidman’s Op-Ed: “Need a Job? Invent It”

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/31/opinion/sunday/friedman-need-a-job-invent-it.html?smid=pl-share 

Came across this article that couldn’t have come at a better time. Not only does this article talk about those of us who are in a rut in our careers, but it also discusses how we need to change our education system.

To begin with, this article discusses how our generation now has to re-create our jobs or simply invent knew ones because of technology and our every changing world. I recently mentioned in a post how I felt like I was going nowhere in my current job, and how I needed to take risks. This was exactly the risk I needed to hear about, as I’m sure many of you out there need to hear it to. It’s time for us to step out of the “norm”, move away from the comfort zone, and begin thinking creatively about our skills and what we have to offer as professionals. Upset about the way your field is running, write a book, figure out a way to change it, and talk about it! Become your own boss and create the dream job you want!!

Now on the other hand, this article deals with the education system in the US, and I can’t agree with it more. As an educator, I can speak first hand and say that we aren’t preparing our students for the future. I fully agree with Wagner about the fact that we need to stop focusing on “college readiness” and begin looking at “innovation readiness”. I know I’ve said it before that being prepared to get into college isn’t enough. We need to make sure that our youth are ready and prepared for beyond college, AKA the real world. Which means, how to problem solve, how to lead, how to manage, and how to create. I teach in an all boy school where the population is 99.9% Black. And I know that many of them lack the ability to think for themselves, or at least in a creative capacity (except when it comes to music, lyrics, and fashion). Its sad to think that education is only regurgitated material that is stuffed into their brains.  When will the US wake up? Maybe its time for educators who are fed up to put their feet down and take the reigns.

At any rate, this book will be in my summer reading list. 

Reflections of India: Life is About Risks

Here I am, laying on the bed during my last full day in India, thinking about all my experiences and all of the people I have met during my time here; reflecting on what I’ve learned and how I have/want to change.

To begin with, India has definitely taught me a new level of humility. Compared to all we have in the US, Indians do not have much. In fact they have more. They have true happiness and appreciation of life, something we lack in the states. We are always busy trying to get ahead and trying to attain greatness and wealth, we never stop and live in the moment. We always overthink, trying to figure out how a decision will effect us tomorrow rather than just living in the now. Right now, I want to go right. And if right doesn’t work, I’ve learned from that decision and I move on.

On our last night as a group, we had dinner with our Indian guide, Bhati. As we were expressing our gratitude for how Bhati had taken such good care of us, he began to explain why he is treated us with such kindness. To paraphrase, he said life was all about the people you meet and the experiences you have. If you are kind to one person, what they remember is your kindness. One day they will remember you for what you did. That is the important thing; treating people well and doing what you feel is right. He went on to say that we should never allow what others think and say effect the decisions we make and the people we become. We can’t live in fear of what will happen, we just have to jump. A life lived in fear is not a life lived at all… it’s a boring life!

I can’t say how much this hit home. I thought about my life and where I am at and how I’ve lost that passion, fire, and spirit in my life. I looked at how boring and monotonous it has become, and I realized its because I have begun to live life in fear of the unknown. I’ve gotten so concerned with the issues of life that I forgot how to live in the moment, how to take chances and risks. With that conversation came the realization the life is all about taking risks. And being afraid sometimes means that we’re going in the right direction. God is trying to break us out of our comfort zones and bring us into something greater.

I’m getting goosebumps all over again as I write this, but this was the message, the lesson that I needed from this adventure. From this point on, I won’t live in fear, but rather follow my heart rather than my head. I’ll be making decisions that won’t make a lot of sense to people around me, but I that doesn’t matter to me any more. I’m ready for the next level, the something greater and I can’t wait to see where God is going to take me!!!